Minions

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Minions are employees at Death Inc. that make up the staff of every department in the company and are the enemies of Have a Nice Death.

Overview

The Sorrows and their Thanagers and minions' job is to contain the flow of souls pouring into the gates of the company. In current circumstances, however, the Sorrows have been working overtime while purposely ignoring company protocols in the process. Because of this and being very loyal to them, the minions have turned hostile toward Death or anyone willing to enter the departments and confront their superiors. Like their Sorrows and Thanagers, certain types of minions and their respective departments are themed around the cause of death for a person.

List of Minions

Image Minions Department(s) Pitbook Description
Crow Hall of Eternity

Modern Wars Dept.

Black feathery beasts with vicious tempers, these half-macramé, half-barbed-wire birds could easily be mistaken for their earthly namesakes. If only they were as smart as those in the land of living. The ones that roam the grounds at Death, Inc. are, in fact alarmingly stupid.
Ghost Hall of Eternity

Addictions Dept.

Ghosts are at the very bottom of Death, Inc.'s company hierarchy. These minions are more commonly referred to as "diseasonal workers," who – like their colleagues created by the Sorrows – are not subject to Death, Inc.'s undead worker labor agreement. In that case, what are they even doing here? To boost numbers in all departments, without exception.
Flying Book Hall of Eternity Binders, paper charts, photo organization charts, ancient folders.... Nothing escapes what Patrick calls the “Atrocious Curse of Bitter Documentation," or “ACBD” for short. If a document isn't consulted often enough, it comes to life and takes vengeance for its neglect.
PyroGhost.png
Pyroghost Hall of Eternity Ghosts are not usually capable of expressing emotions other than boredom or indifference, but there are some exceptions. For example, after repeating the same mundane tasks over and over again, hundreds of times, they can begin to feel frustrated. This results in devastating flames erupting from their tired faces, which is never a good sign, magically speaking.
Spooksman Hall of Eternity

Addictions Dept. Modern Wars Dept.

All multinationals have specific departments, which are defined according to a hierarchy. Ghosts - like all other employees and minions at Death, Inc. – have their superiors. They are known as the “Spooksmen” to highlight their managerial qualities, namely violence and a complete lack of subtlety.
Blobby Industrial Pollution Dept.

Physical Illness Dept.

The Industrial Pollution Deportment is a treasure trove of magical and chemical anomalies Many of the CEO's necromantic creations have been modified to be a better fit for Gordon Grimes's factory project. Blobbies make up the 'bulk° of the team of mutant workers, working under the Sorrow.
Petroll Industrial Pollution Dept.

Physical Illness Dept.

Colossi covered in a vile substance, Petrol's are to Blobbies what Spooksmen are to Ghosts. Yet, Grimes considers them to be hierarchically equivalent to the other minions in the Pollution Department. I'm the boss. I don't need to delegate!
Splurty Industrial Pollution Dept.

Physical Illness Dept.

When Gordon Grimes is dissatisfied with a Blobby or Petroll's performance or if they're getting too dissident and not respecting his managerial advice, he doesn't suspend or even fire them. He literally recycles the problematic minion and turns them into a Splurty.
Stormy Industrial Pollution Dept.

Physical Illness Dept. Addictions Dept.

Very recently, an entire work room was destroyed by an unfortunate gas leak. All the Death, Inc. minions, as well some rare employees in the room suffered a second, brutal death. For obvious reasons (budgetary cuts), they were offered a temporary spare host vessel, in the form of an eye floating a few feet off the ground.
Seaglue Industrial Pollution Dept. Aaording to Orville's research, every time a seagull, an albatross, or any other sea bird dies in an oil spill, there is exactly an 85.5% chance that it will come back to life right in the A-544 office of the Industrial Pollution Department. The office is always filled to the brim with fuel and often causes small explosions, which explains the power outages on that floor.
Boomah Industrial Pollution Dept.

Modern Wars Dept.

None of the employees in Death, Inc.'s mail department want to visit the Pollution Department for obvious reasons. The Boomahs, the minions tasked with transporting the most volatile fuels, are horrifically clumsy. They're almost certainly those responsible for the most recent gas leaks.
Heart Breaker Physical Illness Dept. Working for the company con be stressful. Managing the constant pressure of Death, Inc. requires a Herculean degree of sang-froid. As far as Hector Krank is concerned, making money is the main thing, even if that means working fifteen-hour days with people who really get on his nerves. That's why most of his minions are known as walking heart attacks the Heart Breakers.
Nursurion Physical Illness Dept.

Addictions Dept.

Both the offices and the staff at the Physical Illness Department stink to high heaven and are crawling with other infectious diseases that have a negative impact on the company's productivity. As a result, a special clause was added to the 1954 circular, enabling them to transform the spectral essence of any medical practitioner who passes away into a shadowy being authorized to carry out emergency trepanation, rather than recycling them into Soulary. This is where Nursurions come from.
Ulcermonner Industrial Pollution Dept.

Physical Illness Dept.

There's a rumor going around that Grimes and Krank are stealing one another's ideas. When one comes up with a dirty trick to work his minions like slaves, the other wastes no time in adopting the same technique to exploit his own workers, almost to the letter. The existence of the Ulcermonners in the Physical Illness Department just confirmed this phenomenon: Grimes counts on his Splurties to oversee his Andy and Krank has put his Ulcermonners to similar use.
Demisym Physical Illness Dept.

Addictions Dept.

DEMISYM Once capsules, tablets and pills in famous pharmaceutical groups from living world, creatures named "Demisym” are a flock of medicine stuff, responsible for killing a certain amount of souls, registered by Death, Inc. So, these meds are hanging around in the company fringes, waiting for a chemical recycling, before going back to work. They've been steeped in some bizarre and gruesome liquid solutions, they appear to be pretty cute at first glance, but don't fool yourself: they're cruel murderers.

Designed by Corvusini Prestin, the former Sorrow of Anthropozoonosis, Demisym were first granted with a levitating ability, before being able to move freely in the air. This is by filling their capsule-shaped body with a special gas, similar with boiled hydrogen (yes of course, it's very dangerous) but with a nice twist on their scent, fully-grown rafflesia flavored. Therefore, Prestin clearly diserved to retire.

Imposter Addictions Dept. All minions working in the Addictions Department are distant victims of the Sorrow that manages them, the anomaly known as "Maxxx." Imposters, for example, are condemned souls imprisoned in unarticulated puppets, attached to tightly strung mechanisms in inoffensive-looking boxes. On Earth, these souls were afflicted with a compulsive obsession with nights out.
Smoker Addictions Dept. Until February 1, 2007, Death, Inc.'s employees and minions were allowed to smoke on company premises whenever and wherever they liked. Since then, Death has given in to the constant complaints from his management team about the cost of ash tray maintenance and the lingering smell of smoke in the offices. Everything tobacco-related became the domain of the Addictions Department, under the watchful eye of young Maxxx.
Sullied Addictions Dept.

Modern Wars Dept.

The recruitment process for minions known as the "Sullied" is unique, to say the least, at Death, Inc. When a minion from a different Department becomes overwhelmed with their work —which is a common occurrence — what remains of their soul is instantly sucked into the Well, recycling the little essence that remains into Soulary, and the minion becomes nothing more than an obedient blob, impervious to menial tasks.
Veteran Modern Wars Dept. The first of the Major's minion recruitment drives was a simple process that took place during a historic conflict of hitherto unheard-of violence. In the middle of World War I, all you had to do was drop into the trenches to find hordes of new recruits. Veterans are old soldiers who fell in no man's land, flattened by shells or suffocated by Zyklon A.
Bombara Modern Wars Dept. As you may have guessed from its name, the Department of

Modern Warfare includes the cruelest and most vile abominations ever to have been created. Mortal perils hated by everyone, the mortal world over. Bombaras are little girls... and some of the most highly feared employees in Death, Inc.'s pyramid of horrors, because everyone knows about the damage and destruction they because everyone knows about the damage and destruction they leave in their wake.

Gallery

Trivia